I should have bought the larger size, I should have crossed the road at the lights, now I have to walk further to the crossing to get to the other side. Life is full of a lot of should have, would have, need to have. Mostly these “should haves” are connected to disappointment of some type. A decision that seemed right at the time but later is considered to be wrong. Even if it is only a few minutes later, it is considered to be wrong.
Usually, the feeling is fleeting, it comes and goes and we pay no attention to us. It seems to feel like “water off a duck’s back” and we move on and deal with whatever it is that our inner ego censor has said. We cross the road further down and walk back to the store we intended to go to. We let go of the “wrongness” our ego criticizer is pointing out to us.
However, there are times when the ego’s critical words come back time and again, each time we see, hear, use something, to do something. The computer chair I am sitting in to type this message was an open box special.
I inspected it and the assistant checked that everything was in the box. So, I bought it at a discount. When I got home, after a while, I realized the right arm rest does not go down as far as the one the left. Is it comfortable? Yes! But is it right, no! My inner ego critic, the opponent to what I did and when and why always brings this up when I sit in the chair, to the point where to quieten it, I sense a new chair is in my near future!
Is there a value in the ego critics insistent reminder? Yes. In this case I will review the models on display more closely and not be driven so quickly by a discount price. The inner ego critic has some value, it will make me more cautious and more respectful of the decision-making process. Is it a guide or a judge?
It is one side of the ego mind, that relentless part of our existence that we strive to control and be able to disengage from. The ego mind is something to be strive to let go of when we mediate, when we try to act more mindfully.
Are we finding fault without self, our decisions? No. we are experiencing a conversation. Maybe even one we should show love to. In any situation there are good and bad decisions to be made. There are also decisions that re better than the one we made and acted on.
There is a sense of balance between what we should have done and what we did. It may be an imperfect balance, it may be uneven, but the fact some part of our ego centric mind brings to us the alternatives and shows which may have been better is a help to us. It brings a sense of balance. It keeps us safe by helping to show us what could have been rather than what we manifested.
That inner ego opponent is silent when we do something well, right, correct and as expected. That silence is balance to the times when it is very vocal, such as when I sit in the computer chair, as I do every day!
But there are times when the voice of the opponent within me is too loud, to harsh, to unyielding in its criticism. Now is the time for the spirit in us to come to the front, as it should do when the ego is too vociferous. Let it balance the situation and be at peace with the result. This is time to engage with your Reiki guides and even out the situation and the feeling within you. Show some love to yourself, Reiki love. Caring and affirmation that what you are doing is the right thing given all that you knew at the time.
Pay Attention to where you were in your mind your emotions and your ability to make a decision. Your ego opponent may be saying to you that you made a bad decision. But you did the bets you could and that deserves reiki love. You deserve Reiki love.
Sit quietly and turn off or turn away from the ego opponent within you and show yourself some love, love sent to you by your Reiki guides. Slow down and breathe deeply. Clear your mind and let peace and love wash over you and through you, in the knowledge that you will remain, hand in hand with your Reiki guides.
Be thankful for that inner voice, that ego driven opponent who is helping to show you what could have been that is important, but it is not what drives you. As you relax out of the session with your Reiki Guides. Allow yourself to be thankful for the message you received from your ego opponent. Take the message, not the delivery, or the essence of your opponent and allow that message to help you do better next time.
This post is taken from our Reiki Level II Student Manual
Mark is a Registered Reiki Teacher and Practitioner under the Canadian Reiki Association – CRA.
Mark is a Usui Tibetan Reiki Master Teacher under the International Association fo Reiki Professionals Click here for more information